Blogit

A Finnishized American woman writes letters to her countryʼs president.

People in Norway, Finland and ”places like that” don’t want to go to your shithole

Blogit Kirjeitä Trumpille 12.1.2018 16:18
Lissu Moulton
Kirjoittaja on New Yorkissa varttunut ja Helsingissä naisistunut copywriter.

Soooo, yesterday you sank to a whole new low (not sure that’s even possible) when discussing immigration policy with lawmakers in the Oval Office. “Why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here?” you said, referring specifically to Haiti and African nations. “We should have more people from places like Norway.”

Ok, I live in Finland, which is basically “a place like Norway”, so I’m just gonna’ go ahead and give it to you straight: No one in Norway – or places like Norway – want to move to your shithole country!

First off, our countries aren’t being “run” by Donald Trump, so we’ve got that going for us.

Plus, we’ve got healthcare. And not only do we have it, but it’s affordable, universal and kick-ass (I paid 130€ for a c-section). Mind blown yet?!?

But it doesn’t stop at healthcare. We also have stuff like the best education systems in the world, maternity/paternity leave and benefits, gender equality, and now we can even buy beer with up to 5.5% alcohol in supermarkets! So it’s no wonder that Finland, Norway and the rest of the Nordics are among the happiest places on earth. I’m telling you Donald, we’re livin’ la vida up in this joint!

I’d invite you to come see for yourself, but… well… yeah, again on behalf of all the Nordics… just don’t.

I’d say try England, but as London’s mayor Sadiq Kahn said today, you “finally got the message” that you’re not welcome there either.

Probably best to steer clear of Mexico, too, since ex-president Vicente Fox is trolling the shit out of you and hates you more than Katy Perry hates Taylor Swift.

Maybe try Haiti or someplace in Africa? And if you’re looking for a hotel, just google “Trump” and “shithole” and you’ll get a whole list of fantastic options.