The truth about Monica Lewinsky

Dear Lissu,

Well look who’s popped up again in the news – Monica Lewinsky, the star of the summer you spent interning at the White House. Poor Monica has, amongst other things, apparently had a tough time finding a meaningful job since she worked (Bill Clinton) at the White House back in 1995.

As I’m sure you remember, the whole affair (pun intended) centered on the question of what actually constituted sex. Bill Clinton didn’t believe that whatever Monica was doing under the desk had anything to do with sex. I wasn’t there. Maybe she was just shining his shoes?

Just think, you were there. That could easily have been you under that desk in the Oval Office. But thank goodness I raised you right. I taught you how to do things like remove stubborn stains from blue dresses.

On the other hand, I do remember you telling me there was a woman working at the White House whose job was literally to keep young women away from Bill Clinton and Bill Clinton away from young women. Although I’m sure that was a full-time job, obviously even she got the day (or night) off once in a while.

My point is, considering his reputation and the fact that someone saw the need to hire a “babysitter” for the leader of the free world, anyone with a vagina could easily have ended up in Monica’s position (again, pun intended).

Although Lewinsky is an easy target, what she writes about her life post White House does bring up an important point. Yes, being involved in an affair with a married person is morally questionable and almost always a terrible idea, but it’s happening all over the world right at this very moment. With politicians, celebrities, the IT guy at your office, etc.

And while what happened between Monica and Bill did almost take him down (he was impeached, after all), he bounced back pretty quickly. Lewinsky, on the other hand, says the world’s reaction to what happened left her suicidal and fearing she “would be literally humiliated to death.”

In 2013, President Obama awarded Bill Clinton the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Maybe telling her story will help free Monica Lewinsky from what has essentially been a 20-year sentence spent paying for a mistake that – let’s be honest now – many of us have made at some point in our lives.

Anyway, I for one wish her much luck in her life and her employment search. And if all else fails, a blow job is still a job! …I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help myself…

Love, Mom