The truth about kids and dogs

Kirjoittaja on New Yorkissa varttunut ja Helsingissä naisistunut copywriter.

Dear Mom,

There was a column in this morning’s Helsingin Sanomat entitled “Even dogs are fed healthy specialty foods while kids are still eating packaged food.” In it, journalist, blogger and food writer Emmi-Liia Sjöholm talks about browsing an online pet store and noticing how it was full of specialty foods aimed at keeping your pooch in good mental and physical health. There are foods for weight control, hypoallergenic foods, foods that promote good digestive health and foods specially designed for “picky eaters”.

She goes on to lament about how so many Finnish parents are willing to feed their kids pre-prepared packaged foods. And she talks about some friend of hers in LA who says that the biggest trend there is to breastfeed your kids until they’re two. “It’s so easy because you never have to worry about having food with you and you know for sure that what you’re feeding your child is healthy and free of additives.”

Oh please, crazy ladies in LA, go f**k yourselves.

I don’t know Emmi-Liia personally. She seems like a nice girl. But as the parent of a dog, a 2-year-old and a 4-year old, let me tell you a couple of things.

1.    Dogs eat shit. Literally. Most dogs I know will eat anything (except maybe salad), so getting them to eat glueten-free, hypoallergenic, organic food inspired by the diet of wolves isn’t really that big of a challenge.

2.    Kids don’t eat shit. Literally. You might think now that you’re only going to feed your kids organic vegetables that you lovingly picked and prepared by hand and then chewed up yourself in order to make it easier for their tiny digestive system to handle. Everyone thinks that. And then they have kids. Now, fast-forward a couple of years. After a long day at work, you pick your precious children up from daycare and listen to them scream all the way home. The only thing they want to eat is cookies. So when you discover that they actually like Kokkikartanon lihamakaronilaatikko, you’re pretty darn pleased with yourself. I mean, unless they’re lying (doubtful), it has milk, egg, pasta, hamburger meat, butter and some spices in it. It might not be as healthy as those specialty dog foods, but I’m pretty sure it tastes better.

So yeah. To all the mothers out there who are doing their best and living in reality, I’ll see you at the supermarket later. And to those ladies and their boobs in LA, maybe medication would help?

Love, Lissu