Shitius, Altius, Fortius

Kirjoittaja on New Yorkissa varttunut ja Helsingissä naisistunut copywriter.

Dear Lissu,

Did you see the pictures of the twin toilets at Sochi?  What a concept!  I mean are you supposed to sit there and have a pleasant conversation with your seat mate?  ”Hi, how are you doing today?”  ”Not bad, except I really shouldn’t have eaten the borscht.”  ”Yeah, I know what you mean.”  On the other hand, there might well be potential here for a new Olympic sport. Alpine peeing, perhaps?

Actually, the Sochi toilets aren’t really any stranger than sitting naked in a hot sauna with complete strangers, so to you this probably seems perfectly natural. Not unlike soccer, this is a European phenomenon most Americans will just never understand. Lucky for me, I’ve spent enough time in Finland to know how to be naked in the sauna without actually feeling naked. Avoid “eye contact” (and by eye contact I mean keep your eyes off other people’s privates) and, if at all possible, also avoid conversation. Basically these are the same rules you would use when riding the New York City subway. See? We’re really not so different after all.

And the gold medal in Alpine peeing goes to….