Santa, please stay in Korvatunturi

Kirjoittaja on New Yorkissa varttunut ja Helsingissä naisistunut copywriter.

Dear Lissu,

So here we are, in the middle of October.  In typical New York fashion, this past weekend we had wonderful fall weather – low 60’s, great sleeping weather.  The best part of fall is coming, the leaves are about to turn and for a few days, it will be beautiful.  It’s my favorite season.  And then I went downtown.

And with the wonderful October weather comes the hope that the stores will be carrying apple cider donuts, candy corn and my favorites, marshmallow Peeps in the shape of pumpkins and ghosts.  And I really look forward to Halloween when all of a sudden, New York streets are filled with small ghosts, skeletons, princesses and super heroes.  And for a day or so in the lobby of our building there will be a big bowl of leftover Halloween candy and I will be able to test my willpower and see if I can just walk past.  I usually fail that test, but it really is just for a day or two.  And then I went downtown.

I start my mantra in June when it starts to get really hot out.  I hate the heat and humidity.  When it’s 90 degrees out and equally as humid, what keeps me going is:  ”Just get through today.  Soon it will be October.”  July:  ”Soon it will be October.”  August:  ”Soon it will be October.”  September:  ”Thirty days has September.  REALLY soon it will be October.”  October 1:  ”THANK YOU!  It’s October.”  And then I went downtown.

You know what’s in the stores downtown?  CHRISTMAS crap!  Christmas cards, Christmas wrapping, Christmas ornaments, Christmas trees (fake ones), Christmas lights, Christmas gifts (buy them now on layaway), hideous Christmas sweaters, Christmas socks, Christmas stockings, plastic bags with reindeer on them to store your Christmas cookies, and, of course, for a mere $69.95, a Santa you can plug in and it lights up and goes HO HO HO.  And we won’t even mention that the commercial for the Christmas Show at Radio City has been running on TV since September.  The thought of that HO HO HO and the Rockettes for another three months is enough to make me totally crazy. I get that Christmas is crucial to stores, but just like those apple cider donuts, it tastes much better when it’s not being rammed down your throat.

Soon Santa Claus will be in all the big department stores.  As soon as he gets there, which will probably be next week, I am going to go and sit on his lap and when he whispers in my ear:  ”And what do you want Little Girl and have you been good?”, I will tell him that I have been really good and I want him to take his elves, reindeer and crap and fly back to Korvatunturi, Finland.  You’ve got December, sir.  October is mine, all mine.

Love, Mom