{"id":11,"date":"2017-01-20T17:39:39","date_gmt":"2017-01-20T15:39:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/suomenkuvalehti.fi\/kirjeita-trumpille\/?p=11"},"modified":"2017-01-20T20:25:21","modified_gmt":"2017-01-20T18:25:21","slug":"were-all-new-yorkers-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/suomenkuvalehti.fi\/kirjeita-trumpille\/were-all-new-yorkers-now\/","title":{"rendered":"We\u2019re all New Yorkers now"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cDear\u201d Donald,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a few hours, you\u2019ll start your new gig as host of the biggest reality show in history. Some of my friends and family here in Finland keep saying to \u201cjust sit back and enjoy the show\u201d. My friends and family in New York keep saying that they \u201cfeel like an asteroid is headed our way and all we can do now is say goodbye to things we loved and prepare for the end.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So do New Yorkers know something everyone else doesn\u2019t? Or are we all just in for one hell of a great show?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let me take you back to New York City in the 1980s for a second. You were busy building up your business empire and I was 12 years old.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My friends and I heard a rumor that you were coming to look at our school<\/a> with your daughter, Ivanka. Of course today she\u2019s your closest \u201cpolitical\u201d advisor and someone you\u2019d like to date<\/a> if you weren\u2019t\u2026 \u201cyou know\u2026 her father\u2026\u201d. But back then she was just an adorable little 5 year-old starting her education.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We knew right away that something had to be done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People don\u2019t often realize that New York is actually kind of a small town. We know our neighbors. And we get into their business just like people do in any small town in Finland. So my friends and I just somehow knew that you were someone to be avoided. We knew your reputation as a loudmouthed, attention-seeking, swindler<\/a>. We\u2019d seen you on TV, heard our parents talk about you and watched you litter our city with big ugly buildings, all with your name prominently featured on the facade in massive gold letters: TRUMP.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway, as luck would have it we had just come back from a class trip to Boston, where we\u2019d somehow gotten our hands on a gay porn magazine. We got together and hatched a plan. And on the morning of your visit, we did what anyone would have done and plastered both of the school\u2019s elevators with dick pics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shockingly, you weren\u2019t impressed and Ivanka ended up going to a different school. Our school wasn\u2019t impressed either, and we got into big trouble. But that\u2019s not really important. The point is, even at the tender age of 12, my friends and I already knew you were a dick.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, fast forward to today. You\u2019re still living in New York and your neighbors still don\u2019t like you. You might have picked up on this since like nine out of ten of us didn\u2019t vote for you<\/a> in the election. But here\u2019s the thing – from today on, you\u2019re no longer just our problem, you\u2019re everyone\u2019s problem. We\u2019re all New Yorkers now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tomorrow is day one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The elevator trick worked back in the 1980s. And tomorrow an estimated 2 million people are expected to take part in the 2017 version: the Women\u2019s March on Washington<\/a> and sister marches around the globe. It\u2019s expected to be one of the biggest protests in history. My friends and I will all be there – in Washington, in New York, and even here in Helsinki<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s going to be \u201cYUUUUUUUGE\u201d!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLove\u201d,\nLissu<\/p>\n\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You\u2019re still living in New York and your neighbors still don\u2019t like you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":147,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"asauth_required_access_level":3,"asauth_cansharepaid":"true","om_header_attributes":[],"footnotes":"","om_featured_image_focal_point":[],"om_primary_tag":0,"om_contributors":[],"om_co_authors":[],"beyondwords_generate_audio":"","beyondwords_project_id":"","beyondwords_content_id":"","beyondwords_preview_token":"","beyondwords_player_content":"","beyondwords_player_style":"","beyondwords_language_code":"","beyondwords_language_id":"","beyondwords_title_voice_id":"","beyondwords_body_voice_id":"","beyondwords_summary_voice_id":"","beyondwords_error_message":"","beyondwords_disabled":"","beyondwords_delete_content":"","beyondwords_podcast_id":"","beyondwords_hash":"","publish_post_to_speechkit":"","speechkit_hash":"","speechkit_generate_audio":"","speechkit_project_id":"","speechkit_podcast_id":"","speechkit_error_message":"","speechkit_disabled":"","speechkit_access_key":"","speechkit_error":"","speechkit_info":"","speechkit_response":"","speechkit_retries":"","speechkit_status":"","speechkit_updated_at":"","_speechkit_link":"","_speechkit_text":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[5,3,2,4],"class_list":["post-11","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kirjeita-trumpille","tag-helsinki","tag-new-york","tag-trump","tag-womens-march-on-washington"],"om_views":null,"acf":{"tuuma_off":false,"tuuma_kysymys":"","tuuma_vastaus":""},"asauth":{"required_access_level":1,"share_token":"","is_paid":false},"yoast_head":"\nWe\u2019re all New Yorkers now - 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