We all love collective transport, unless we use it.
As a daily commuter, I can´t help being fascinated. The way people act on public transport reveal a lot. Who are we sharing a wagon with today?
Type 1:
The iPod-dude/dudette.
Faraway stare. Lost in the magic of the music and obviously feeling the bus/tram/train/metro is WAY funkier than it is. In the club already.
Signs: Stomping rhythmically, nodding head like Rain Man, mumbling under his/her breath along to the lyrics, hiss of bad headset allows person to share his/her music taste with the rest of the wagon.
Type 2:
The drunk teen.
Sits with three of his friends and drinks cans of Koff or Lapin Kulta. They´re hard badasses! Hide your daughters! Run for the hills! Drunk teen kid don´t care about your pathetic social conventions!
Drink beer in the pub? Pah! Not allowed in without a fake ID. Drinking beer on the bus/metro is as ruff n tuff as ruff n tuff can be.
The funny thing is if they still do this ten years later, it´s really horribly sad.
Signs: Bragging, testing out mobile phones really loud, getting drunk from three cans of Lapin Kulta.
Type 3:
The disapproving pensioneer
Grips purse tightly between both hands for the remaining journey. Stares at you like you are a demonic apparition with a knife between your teeth and a DIE PENSIONEERS -shirt.
Signs: Pink or bluish hair, somewhere between a berserk cotton candy machine and a circus clown.
Type 4:
BO dude.
Positions himself next to you on a packed transport vehicle, reaches for the ceiling grip and MAGIC happens. Tears flow as this guy´s exposed armpit does it´s legendary thing.
We hear a lot about how pheromones attract the opposite sex. If half of it is true, this guy has 50 kids already.
Signs: Vacant stare, molester moustache, faded Jethro Tull-t-shirt.
Therefore I am happy to present you with a survival guide for Collective transport. Read and become wise, friends!
Did I miss any types? Come with your suggestions in the comments!
Joko olet tilannut Suomen Kuvalehden uutiskirjeen?
Saat uusimmat, kiinnostavimmat ja puhutuimmat aiheet
kerran viikossa suoraan sähköpostiisi.
Oh, that´s always a joy to behold. Almost as nice as sitting down somewhere and finding souvenirs from the previous occupant. Beer, chewing gum and unspeakable horrors…
You missed the ”Arska”, the drunk who often confuses especially the tram to the toilet. He speaks mostly by grunting and the more he's drunk the less clear is what he means by the grunting (–but other Arskas still understand each other despite how drunk they're). You can meet an Arska most likely in the 3T, 3B, 8 and 6 trams anytime of the day. Mostly harmless except for the odour.
Oh, and of course the random outpatient who can be either passive zombie or aggressive. Or both, changing from one to the other.
Yes, ”Arska” is definitely part of the central Helsinki commuter experience…
Hetkinen tilausta käsitellään.
tupsukorva kirjoitti:
As a daily train commuter I must say, kudos to you! I laughed at each statement. True, so true.
Also, don't forget about moms with babies and their trollies (or whatever), that are too big for the train and they block the entrance. Also kids who always yell and scream because they can't climb on top of the seats and jump around like monkeys. Yay for big families!